doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
