just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
