she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
