hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
