Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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