They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
