I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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