just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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