I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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