i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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