Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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