just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
