My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
