Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
