areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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