can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Im just a social blackout drinker.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
