I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
