Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
