Pants 0. Shit 1.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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