So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
