Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
