You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
