I love black thongs
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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