I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
