The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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