They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
