I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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