OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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