I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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