We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
