is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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