Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
