My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
wow bdsm is so cute
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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