Don't make out with my wife yet
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
