singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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