you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
