he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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