I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
