Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
