I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
