i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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