eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
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