what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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