someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
