stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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