I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
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