found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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