My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
