just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
