I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
