peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
