I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
