I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
