whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
