Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
