Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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