hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
